Jul
21
The first time I saw “Clerks” was when I was 15. A high school buddy and I had rented it on a whim, not really knowing what it was. Indie movies played at some of the art houses in Seattle, but we lived in the suburbs, a million miles away. The only time I talked my mother into driving me to the Neptune downtown when I was a teenager was to see “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie.” At any rate, my friend and I had no idea what we were getting into when we popped “Clerks” into his dad’s VCR. All I knew was that it was a comedy set at a convenience store and looked like it had been shot on black-and-white surveillance cameras.
We were pleasantly surprised with the film to say the least. The astonishing amount of dirty talk would make a sailor blush and a couple of pervy teenagers to laugh until it hurts. The script is funny enough for me to forgive some of the weak performances and the production values that make Troma movies look like “Iron Man.” I still maintain that it’s writer-director Kevin Smith’s best film. I’ve seen it countless times over the years and was there on opening day for the somewhat unnecessary sequel.
Kevin Smith’s latest film, “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” doesn’t sound like a radical departure from his typical output. Seth Rogen — one of my favorite comic actors of late — plays Zack, hopefully bringing some of the Apatow-verse magic to the proceedings. Trouble is, according to Cinema Blend, the movie’s been slapped with an NC-17 rating by those guardians of what’s good and holy in this country, the Motion Picture Association of America.
I hate the MPAA. Our ratings system is a crock of bull. I understand that parents want to have some vague idea of what they’re getting into when they take their toddler to see “The Dark Knight.” But movie ratings are simply meaningless, and some parents are borderline retarded. The prevailing attitude is that violence is okay, but sex is verboten. This I don’t understand. Most folks will go their entire lives without killing anyone — even in this country. But very few of us will die virgins. What gives?
Kirby Dick’s documentary, “This Film is Not Yet Rated,” which includes interviews with Kevin Smith among other indie filmmakers, explores the hypocrisy of the ratings system, particularly the dreaded, filthy-dirty NC-17 rating. NC-17 took the place of the X-rating in 1990. It originally meant no children under 17 were admitted, but was later revised so that 17-year-olds weren’t admitted either, meaning you had to be 18 to see an NC-17 movie. Make sense? No, it doesn’t,
What’s even more perplexing about the NC-17 rating is movies that are given one are more or less unreleasable by a major studio. That’s right, if your big-budget summer tentpole gets an NC-17, well, you’re going back to the editing suite and cutting that thing down to an R. No respectable theater chain with stadium seating and 30 minutes of commercials before the trailers start is going to make room for your sick and twisted porno movie. But why? People 18 and over go to the movies. In fact, people between 18-35 are something of a popular demographic that movie studios target more often that not.
The existence of the NC-17 rating defies logic. The MPAA’s attitude is that you can make whatever kind of movie you want. They don’t discourage you from making an NC-17 movie. That’s censorship! But, if your movie gets an NC-17 rating by the MPAA, it isn’t going to be shown at the local AMC, or Regal or Edwards movie houses. That’s somehow — ahem — not censorship. It’s B.S. is what it is.
It also doesn’t explain what in the hell the R-rating is all about. Snipping a frame or two here and there to get your obscene NC-17 movie re-rated and branded with a more audience-friendly R somehow protects impressionable 17-year-olds from seeing something they’re a whole year away from being mature enough to experience in its original form. Of course, I don’t get the R-rating either. You have to be accompanied by a parent if you’re under 17, but some R-rated movies were originally NC-17 movies with a few seconds of sex and/or violence cut out. It’s not like they excise entire reels from these things. So it’s okay to see a de-fanged NC-17 movie if you go with your folks? Wha…?
All that being said, Kevin Smith’s going to have to do something with “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.” It’ll have a difficult time making its $25 million production budget back on the art house circuit — the only game in town that’ll show NC-17 pictures like “The Dreamers” and “Lust, Caution.” I’m disappointed that some of the dirty jokes are going to be cut out. But I guess it’ll be a movie that, like “Clerks,” I might just have to wait and see on video.
-Brad Lohan
Comments
Leave a Reply