Jan
22
Jesus Christ in a walking cast, when is this going to blow over? A friend of mine, a gal I talk to seasonally, called me up the other day. Apropos of nothing, she brought up the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien pissing contest. She had to ruin a perfectly good conversation about crap that I’m genuinely interested in by asking my opinion about a pair of hack comedians and their dopey little interview show. Since it’s apparently so important that I express some emotion in regards to this issue, here’s my take on this whole witless kerfuffle:
The one with the big chin left “The Tonight Show” to do a show that comes on immediately before “The Tonight Show,” which is now hosted by the one with the big hair who did a show that used to come on immediately after “The Tonight Show.” Now the one with the big chin wants to go back to being on “The Tonight Show,” but the one with the big hair doesn’t want to leave “The Tonight Show,” even though he gets lower ratings than the one with the big chin.
People honestly care about this. It isn’t like David Caruso leaving “NYPD Blue.” It’s two mediocre comics telling safe jokes about whatever boring of-the-moment nonsense that’s on everyone’s lips and interviewing stoned, drunk or spaced-out celebrities about their crummy movies. Who cares when they’re on, or what show they’re on, or that they’re even on. You should be in bed anyway. You have work tomorrow.
Folks actually picketed NBC over this. In the rain. My Facebook is clogged with people I thought were my friends, trying to get me to join fan pages devoted to Conan’s ego-fueled plight. The buttwad got a $45 million buyout on his contract. I wish someone would pay me not to be on TV because I can’t even bring in the ratings of a half-talent like Leno.
All this sanctimony I see on the Internet, people lionizing Conan’s comedy and lamenting that fewer people watched because it’s more esoteric than stale old Leno — it’s just absurd. This is a show for overly caffeinated college students and grandparents, anyone whose sleep schedule is screwy and isn’t having sex.
So that’s where I’m at. I hate them both with equal aplomb and find Letterman marginally more interesting only because he got into his staff members’ [worldwide] pants.
-Brad Lohan
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