LeoI never outgrew the Turtles. Like any adolescent boy in the late-1980s, I was enamored of the four irradiated tortoise-like humanoids named for Renaissance painters and trained in the art of ninjitsu by their mentor, an overgrown rat called Splinter. The Turtles were sworn enemies of the Shredder — Darth Vader with a black belt and a fetish for sharp edges. Each Turtle wore a color-coded headband (so as to not be recognized?) and was equipped with his own unique instrument of death or dismemberment. They were also befriended by the bosomy TV news reporter, April O’Neil, a redhead in a banana-yellow jumpsuit who added a touch of “Aoogah!” to the male-dominated proceedings.

The origins of the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” however, owe more to Frank Miller than your average Saturday morning cartoon. In the early-1980s, comic book creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird came up with the Turtles as a goof on Miller’s then-current “Daredevil” run. The canister of mutanagenic ooze that transformed four abandoned turtle house pets into adolescent martial artists was — unofficially — the same container that struck young Matt Murdock in the face, blinding him but heightening his four remaining senses. Murdock was subsequently trained in physical combat by a man called Stick; the Turtles’ were taught to fight by Splinter. Daredevil goes toe-to-toe with an army of ninjas known as the Hand; the Turtles battle the Foot. Why the Marvel and Mirage Studios have never done a crossover between the Turtles and Daredevil is beyond reason.

Eastman and Laird also emulated Miller’s gritty artistic style and bloody violence. The Turtles are more oddly proportioned and creepy, rendered in high-contrast black-and-white. They would seem more at home in “Sin City” than on a grade schooler’s lunchbox. But it’s the very same style NECA has emulated in their new line of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures that now adorn my shelf.

I never outgrew toys, either. And this afternoon my TMNT figs finally arrived. At first, I thought I shouldn’t open them. The four Turtles were packaged together in a box that could easily be displayed. But it had acquired a few dings and dents in transit; it was sadly no longer “mint-on-card.” That being said, I’ve freed all four Turtles from their packaging, equipped them with their respective weapons and huddled them together in a dramatic pose that the cat will likely knock over while I’m at work tomorrow.

Cowabunga.

-Brad Lohan

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