I Don’t Know About You, But I’m Sort of Over Star Wars Parodies

A long time ago, in an industry far, far away…filmmakers made films that had absolutely zero to do with “Star Wars.” I know, right. It’s kinda hard to believe. But yes, there was a time before I was born that young filmmakers weren’t inspired by George Lucas’s saga to crank out movies about George Lucas’s saga.

I’m embarrased to say that even I made a short film that’s a send-up of “Star Wars.” It’s about “Star Wars” characters entering the world of online dating. I also had the ingenious idea to cast my then-girlfriend in it, and post-breakup, it’s been banished to the bottom of a drawer, never again to be seen by man. Still, I made the thing in 2005, prior to the release of “Revenge of the Sith.” At least it was somewhat relevant. Now it’s been three years since the prequel trilogy finishing slapping fans in the face. I simply refuse to believe that this “Clone Wars” video game cutscreen montage that’s due in August is actually a movie.

The series is dead. Let’s move on with our lives now, shall we? No…? You’re saying we need to keep parodying “Star Wars?” Why’s that exactly? “Spaceballs” wasn’t enough, you say?

There have been two(!) DTV “Star Wars” parodies within the past year: “Robot Chicken: Star Wars” and “Family Guy: Blue Harvest.” Now I find neither Seth Green nor Seth MacFarlane, creators of “Robot Chicken” and “Family Guy” respectively, to be terribly funny human beings. Their parodying a movie that’s over 30 years old just goes to show how cutting edge their comedy is, and why their dumb little shows will never sully my Netflix queue.

But there’s actually something more offensive to my sensibilities than dopey, little-seen “Star Wars” parodies. Someone made a movie — a feature-length movie — about people going to steal a print of “The Phantom Menace” before its release in ‘99. Yes, “Fanboys” is a movie about people who want to watch a movie, a movie that’s not very good. That’s not meta, that’s motarded. The film has been in the can for a couple of years now. It’s almost amazing that a movie can be deemed “unreleasable” by today’s standards, but that’ll soon no longer be the case with “Fanboys.” According to Ain’t It Cool News, the film is finally going to be distributed by the Weinstein Company.

What’s most disturbing about this news is that there’s an audience for this poodoo. People actually campaigned for the damn movie to see the light of day. Can’t we just let “Star Wars” go? Is there anything about the films that’s still unsaid? If you think so, if you’ve still got to poke fun at them, well, you’d best watch yourself…’cause I’m going to make fun of you!

-Brad Lohan

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