The Greatest Spoiler I Have Ever Read

Filed Under Spoilers

There are billboards up all over town for a flick called “Remember Me.” As it happens, the marketing campaign is completely forgettable. That said, anything starring Robert Pattinson, who looks like a less butch version of Rachel Maddow, is something that’s off my radar. Someone asked me the other day if I’d seen “Twilight: New Moon.” I laughed so hard, I peed my pants a little bit. In other words: no. I will cop to enjoying “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” because the little panty-waist dies in it.

Anyone who does not want “Remember Me” spoiled for them, Robert Pattinson’s character dies on 9/11. I mean, don’t read the previous sentence. Oh, snap. Isn’t that the greatest spoiler you’ve ever read? That’s better than Will Smith committing suicide in a bathtub with a jellyfish in “Seven Pounds.”

Can 9/11 kill a vampire, though? This is a “Twilight” vampire we’re talking about here. They’re tough hombres. They can go outside during the day and sparkle like children’s toothpaste. I’m pretty sure they can survive practically anything.

So does this mean I’m going to see “Remember Me?” Pfft, fuggedaboutit.

-Brad Lohan

If you like this post, share it!