Quake Me Today

Filed Under Culture

The earth shook this morning in So. Cal. just before lunchtime, and it seems like everyone but me went ape. You’d think Californians wouldn’t be quite so rattled by…being rattled. I mean, I’ve been on “Earthquake: The Big One” during the Universal Studios Backlot Tour enough times to know that the undulations we felt today weren’t nothin’. According to the AP, the quake was a meh-worthy 5.4. Back in college, I’d learned in my astonishingly boring geology class that each tenth of a point you move up on the Richer scale is actually exponential. So the difference between a 5.4 and a 5.5 is fairly substantial, but not nearly as catastrophic as when you get up into the 6’s or higher.

So why’d everybody pee themselves this morning? I understand we live in a post-”Cloverfield” America, but still. This is California. We’re lousy with natural disasters — floods, wildfires, mudslides, earthquakes, “Meet Dave.” Besides, it’s not like the earth opened up and Satan crawled out.

I’m not trying to talk tough or anything. The last thing I want to do is be buried alive in some cataclysmic earthquake. I’ve already bought a ticket to see “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” this Friday, then I want to catch a midnight screening of “The Crow” at the Nuart afterwards. I’ve got stuff lined up is what I’m saying. But today’s little event was hardly worthy of going into full on panic mode. That said, the closer we get to the release of next year’s “Watchmen,” the more paranoid I may become about seismic activity.

When I got home from work this evening, I noticed the quake had taken its toll on many of the occupants in my apartment. Nearly all of my action figures on display — save for the Ninja Turtles Leonardo and Raphael — had toppled over. There weren’t any DVDs or books littering the floor, fortunately. The cat seemed just as kooky as usual.

Everything seems to be okay, L.A. Moving forward, I’ll let you know when it’s time to panic.

-Brad Lohan

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