jakeOne of the perks of being a film student is having film professors. They know more about movies than some the folks who make them and many the folks who review them. They see movies differently than you or I. And they oftentimes have very eclectic taste. My favorite professors are the ones who had blockbusters out of hand. Let’s face it. This generation of film students hasn’t grown up on the films of New Hollywood, the arty-farty movies of the 1970s; no, they grew up on the New New Hollywood, the box office bonanzas of the 1980s. As such, their sensibilities are completely at odds with the poor fellows whose job it is to teach them how to make movies. It can lead to interesting class discussions to say the least.

At any rate, I think it’d be fun to take a second look at “Avatar” but through the eyes of one of my film professors. That isn’t to say this blog is intended to be mean-spirited or make fun of him. Rather, I’d like to channel what I imagine his reaction to the film should be. So, without further ado, here’s “Avatar” through the eyes of one of my film professors.

First of all, it’s a space movie, and I don’t like space movies. They’re boring. I like art movies and foreign films. In one of my other screenwriting classes, like, half of the scripts the students turned in are for space movies.

I think the script was too long. The movie’s, like, almost three hours. It could’ve been condensed more. There are all these talky scenes with the blue cat people. Why do they have to be blue, anyway?

I didn’t like the antagonist. I think he’s way too one-dimensional. He wasn’t interesting to me. Like, all he wants to do is kill the blue cat people. I can’t remember what they’re called. He should have had more dimensions. I want my antagonists to be likable.

I liked the 3D. It reminded me of watching my new TV at home. The picture is so good, it’s like being in the movie. I rented some more Blu-Rays from Netflix that I watched this past week. Has anyone seen that new Russell Crowe movie? I don’t remember what it’s called.

Can I write characters or what?

-Brad Lohan

Comments

One Response to “How One of My Film Professors Would’ve Reviewed “Avatar””

  1. Erik Call on December 23rd, 2009 8:24 am

    Nice article. My favorite moments of this particular professor were…

    “Students are lazy. You should fight the system more. Seize the administration building and shut down the campus.”

    “Terrorize? I don’t terrorize grad students. I only terrorize undergrads.”

    “A wife? What’s the matter with you? Yes, I have a wife. Is that so hard to believe?”

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