Hollywood Is Officially Out of Ideas, or an “American Pie” Reboot Is in Development

Filed Under Movies

Shortly after I’d moved to Los Angeles, my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with Jason Biggs, the guy in the first three “American Pie” films. Not Chris Klein, not Stifler, but the guy who raped a pie. But I did her one better. I had group sex with a dozen donuts. It was a dysfunctional relationship to say the least.

It should probably come as no surprise that Universal is rebooting the “American Pie” theatrical franchise. The studio has been knocking out DTV sequels at a geometric rate for the past few years now. Considering that “Miss March” and “College” and “Fired Up” were all theatrically-released films, you’ve got to really wonder how truly goddamn bad a teen sex comedy has to be to go straight-to-video.

Now, don’t think I’m a stick in the mud when it comes to teen sex comedies. I love the criminally unappreciated “Sex Drive” and have encouraged a number of friends to seek out that little gem of a film. But does the world need another “American Pie” in theaters or on video? Hasn’t Judd Apatow’s explosion of coming-of-age movies for man-children (“40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Knocked Up,” etc.) forced sex comedies to grow up a bit? These days, the gags are less about embarrassing sexual or scatological predicaments and now are more character-driven. The fact that “Sex Drive” couldn’t find an audience outside of yours truly and those three crappy movies I mentioned in the previous paragraph bombed resoundingly is evidence that the Wayans Brothers have sated movie-goers’ appetites for semen and shit for the time being. We’re good. Let’s move on to something else.

-Brad Lohan

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