“Frozen” Review

Filed Under Movies

There’s great line in “Open Water,” the movie about the bickering couple who are stranded in the middle of the ocean and being preyed upon by sharks. Shortly after they discover they’re pretty much doomed, the wife says, “I wanted to go skiing!” Well, Adam Green’s new film, “Frozen,” does for skiing what “Open Water” did for scuba diving. And people wonder why I have such a fondness for staycations.

“Frozen” is about three college students: a boyfriend and girlfriend and a third wheel. They’re on a weekend skiing/snowboarding trip as well as a tight budget, having to bribe the chair lift operator when they can’t afford lift tickets. There’s some tension in the group. The boyfriend character and the third wheel character have been bros since grade school, and the new girlfriend has driven a wedge between them. She also can’t snowboard for a damn. So the weekend’s been a bit of a bust. Happily for the audience, it gets much worse for them.

After the three of them beg the operator to let them go up for one final run and halfway up the mountain, the chair lift is shut down. The lights go out. And they find themselves dangling at an immense height over the ski run with no way to get down and no way to call for help. Good times. If you’re willing to suspend your disbelief that three college students in this day and age don’t have cell phones practically grafted onto their bodies, the movie just might work for you.

It’s a terrific setup because it’s so simple and straightforward. Horror sometimes gets bogged down in too much complicated exposition that doesn’t quite make sense. I’m looking at you, “Drag Me to Hell.” Here’s a situation that could potentially happen and is all the more engaging as the audience imagines themselves in the same situation, coming up with half-assed plans of survival and escape. My plan: make a rope out of your clothes. It could work.

The heroes’ attempts at saving themselves are full of fail. I wouldn’t recommend jumping is what I’m saying. Also, the cable the chair lift is dangling from is sharp as hell and can cut right through a pair of heavy gloves. Even if someone does get down, there’s pack of hungry wolves lurking below. Of course, staying up there means exposure to the elements, frostbite and pants-pissing.

I generally dug “Frozen.” I think it could’ve gone a little further, thrown even more complications at the heroes; what I wouldn’t have given for a sasquatch to show up. Not surprisingly, the characters are too thinly drawn. I’d have liked to gotten to know more about them before they’re thrown into the thick of things. Movies like this work best when you’re honestly pulling for likable folks to get out of there in one piece. Well, it’s good to have one douchey guy, too, who you want to see things end badly for.

Director Green’s definitely redeemed himself in my eyes after his weak sauce slasher throwback, “Hatchet.” Here, he stretches himself a bit instead of trying to simply revisit old tropes. But he still can’t break from the trend of casting genre vets in walk-on roles. Eagle-eyed horror fans will recognize Kane Hodder, an actor/stuntman who essayed the role of Jason Voorhees four times(!), in a cameo as the most oblivious snow plow operator in film history.

-Brad Lohan

If you like this post, share it!