Jul
31
Midnight, Meet “Train”
Filed Under Movies
It took me a long time to warm up to “Hellraiser.” When I first got into horror, I was all about slasher movies, particularly the “Friday the 13th” films. I also dug the exploits of Freddy, Michael Myers, Leatherface, Candyman and even Chucky. So “Hellraiser” seemed like it’d be up my alley. A chap with a face full of nails shortening people’s life spans can hardly disappoint, right?
Well, “Hellraiser” isn’t really a slasher movie. The first time I saw it, I watched most of the movie in fast-forward. I didn’t fast-forward the gore scenes, but the character stuff, the gobs and gobs of character stuff. There’s actually a story being told in “Hellraiser,” believe it or not. In fact, the movie’s based on a novella by Clive Barker, who also directed the film. At 13 I couldn’t have cared less about the plot of “Hellraiser.” I simply wanted to watch hell being raised.
Now I love “Hellraiser.” It’s so gooey and grimy and great. Pinhead — the fellow who looks like he ran afoul of a nail gun — isn’t in the movie all that much, nor are his disfigured comrades in arms, the Cenobites. But the movie’s not really about him. Still, he has some bad ass lines: “No tears, please…it’s a waste of good suffering!”
I’m a loon.
Anyway, “Hellraiser” is one of the very few Clive Barker movies I like. But I am looking forward to the upcoming “Midnight Meat Train,” based on a short story by Barker. Unfortunately, Lionsgate is dumping the film in $1 theaters tomorrow, says Bloody Disgusting. Barker’s trying to ramp up an email campaign to get the film a better release pattern. I don’t think it’s going to happen.
I’m puzzled as to why the studio that “Saw” built has so much hate in its heart for “Midnight Meat Train.” Lionsgate has put out some real stinkers in recent years. Cripes, it’s the studio that foisted “American Psycho 2″ on an unsuspecting public. To be fair, it was a DTV entry. But Mila Kunis had to work overtime to earn back my trust for appearing in that bit of unholiness. At any rate, Lionsgate seems relatively shameless in releasing bad horror movies. That said, how bad can “Midnight Meat Train” be? The title alone suggests greatness. So why is the studio almost guaranteeing this film will have an anemic opening weekend? I dunno. Even if the suits at Lionsgate think it blows, they could more than likely recoup their production costs before word-of-mouth kills it by releasing the film in first-run theaters across the land. Every studio does that with their clunkers. Ask Uwe Boll.
On a side note, are there really still $1 theaters in America? I remember them from when I was a kid, but I haven’t been a kid in awhile. The last time I went to a “cheapie” theater, I paid like six or seven bucks to see a movie that had come out a few months ago.
Anyway, I’m not driving out to the boonies to watch Vinnie Jones carve up humans, not this weekend. And why should I when my favorite movie house in L.A. — the Nuart — is showing the film at midnight on August 15th? (Scroll down to the very bottom of the link for info.) The director will even be there, too. I just hope he’s not behind the counter selling popcorn.
-Brad Lohan
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[…] couple weeks ago, I wrote about how Lionsgate had decided to dump “Midnight Meat Train” in dollar theaters. The film did about $30,000 in business the weekend it opened. That said, “The Love […]