Judgment Meh

“Terminator 2: Judgment Day” is probably one of my favorite action films. “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines” is not. The third film in the Terminator franchise is a hollow do-over of movie two. Arnold Schwarzenegger returns as the Terminator, again reprogrammed to protect a slightly less prepubescent John Conner (Nick Stahl) from another super-sophisticated Terminator one-off, the T-X (Kristanna Loken). With two Terminators running around in the present day, it’s clear that Judgment Day — a catastrophic nuclear event that wipes out most of humanity — has not been prevented, but simply postponed. And the war between man and machine will still rage on in the future with an older, wiser and presumably more charasmatic John Conner leading the ragtag human resistance.

Move three ends with Conner and childhood friend Kate Brewster holing up in a bomb shelter as Mutually Assured Destruction Theory becomes fact. It’s a bold ending for an otherwise ho-hum movie. That said, the movie did mediocre business at the box office, Schwarzenegger got into politics, and the franchise seemed to have self-terminated, going out on a low note as so many of these trilogies do. It amazes me that almost every franchise is sold to audiences as a trilogy when filmmakers rarely have enough good stories in them to sustain even two movies.

But the Terminator franchise isn’t dead after all. Like the metal endoskeleton at the end of the first film, it’s risen from the wreckage and will limp along for at least one more entry, “Terminator Salvation.” You may remember an earlier piece I wrote about a potential third-act spoiler for this installment, which is apparently supposed to kick off another trilogy of Terminator movies set against the backdrop of the Future War.

I guess I’d be more excited about this new franchise if A) James Cameron were involved, B) Arnold Schwarzenegger were also involved, C) the last one didn’t blow, and D) Mc-friggin’-G weren’t directing. I understand why the studio hired Jonathan Mostow to direct the third film. They needed someone who knew how to pronounce “action” and “cut” and would bring the movie in on time and on budget. But what’s up with the hiring of McG, the wunderkind who made the “Charlie’s Angels” movies?! Are you kidding me? His very name alone implies soulless corporatey bull-puckey.

Apart from myself, you know who also isn’t sold on this new flick? Arnie. The Los Angeles Times reports that some footage of the film was screened for the Oak, and he’s as baffled as I am about this new direction they’re headed. He sort of hems and haws in the article, giving you a sense that he doesn’t want to say, “WTF?!” in as many words. Quoth Arnold, “They showed me some footage, but I don’t have a feel for the movie. I didn’t see enough. I wasn’t sure who the Terminator was. I don’t know if there is one or if he’s the star or the hero. These are the things that determine the success and how the strong the movie will be.”

In sum, “WTF?!”

Shooting is about half-finished. Once Christian Bale’s through attending premieres of “The Dark Knight” in foreign lands and ducking questions about beating up his mum and sis, he’ll return to the set in New Mexico for some more metal monster mashing. I dunno. Maybe I should wait and see how things continue to unfold before I pass judgment.

-Brad Lohan

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