Jun
19
Hot or Bot: The Mating Habits of Transformers
Filed Under Blockbusters, Movies, TV, Toys
In “Transformers: The Movie” — the animated one from 1986, not last summer’s live-action ‘roided up bug-bot noise fest — several new characters are introduced, the film being set in the far-flung future world of 2005. Hot Rod, Kup, Ultra Magnus, Wheelie and Arcee are some of the fresh new faces among the ranks of the Autobots. It’s not established where these ‘bots came from exactly. I believe that the original batch of Transformers were created by the floating, egg-shaped, five-faced Quintessons. But among the noobs, Arcee is clearly a female Robot in Disguise. She’s voiced by veteran actress — and Jason victim in “Friday the 13th: Part VII” — Susan Blu; she has a slender waist, birthing hips, even a bustline; and she’s pink. Pink equals girl in cartoon shorthand.
All that being said, if Arcee is equipped with an approximation of the female form (right down to her lipstick), it begs the question, “Can — uh — Transformers reproduce sexually?” Arcee appears to be part of the cast of Michael Bay’s upcoming “Transformers 2: First of the Fallen,” so now’s as good a time as any to explore this topic before every other mouth-breathing Internet blogger and Transfan pounces on it, too.
Assuming that the mechanics of the sexual act between male and female Transformers mirrors that of humans’, what sort of ‘bot-ily fluids are exchanged exactly? Blueprints, technical schematics, auto parts? Then within the womb of the female, is there a small factory that takes the design specs and accessories and customizes a baby ‘bot? Can I possibly wring another couple paragraphs out of this?
Or it could just be that Arcee’s a token female character, a half-hearted stab at luring in young female viewers. Maybe all the Transformers do simply roll right off the Quintessons’ assembly line, and Arcee’s lady parts are just for decoration, mooting volumes of hardcore Transformers fan-fic.
Whatever purpose Arcee’s naughty bits may serve, she’s treated as an equal among her fellow Autobots — all of whom have ginormous codpieces straight out of “A Clockwork Orange.” She’s portrayed as a capable warrior and one of the few characters in the ‘86 film that isn’t blown to Kingdom Come during a battle scene cut to hair metal. Maybe she’s capable of carrying Optimus Prime’s baby, but Arcee’s not built for fitting into a traditional gender role.
-Brad Lohan
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