“Death Race” to the Bottom

Filed Under Movies

Pity Paul Thomas Anderson. He shares 2/3rds of his name with video game adaptation auteur, Paul W.S. Anderson. Paul Thomas Anderson — director of “Boogie Nights,” “Magnolia” and last year’s “There Will Be Blood” — has doubtless gone into meetings with producers who thought he was “the ‘Mortal Kombat’ guy.” No, that’s Paul W.S. Anderson. Paul Thomas Anderson (sometimes credited as P.T. Anderson) is a filmmaker. Paul W.S. Anderson has some vague idea as to where to point the camera once it’s speeding.

Is there any question about which Paul Anderson directed the upcoming “Death Race 2000″ remake? Given the more economical — not to mention less anachronistic — title “Death Race,” this film looks like the bastard offspring of “The Running Man” and “The Fast and the Furious.” It stars Jason Statham as Jason Statham, a former NASCAR driver (and a British one, no less) sent to prison for murdering his wife; but wait, he’s innocent! Now he must compete in the very unlikely “Death Race,” a prison-sponsored event organized by Joan Allen(!) that grants the victor an early parole.

Exploitation flicks like this just don’t work anymore. Even the lowest common denominator is too sophisticated for “Death Race.” Please don’t get me wrong about exploitation movies. I absolutely love “Escape From New York,” but the ‘96 sequel/remake, “Escape From L.A.,” is proof that after about 1990, B-movies with B+ budgets get a “D” from mainstream audiences. It’s goes back to that old saying, “You can’t put lipstick on a pig.” The ’70s and ’80s were when high-concept, low-rent movies could be modest hits and sometimes cult classics. But they were very much a product of their own time, trying to be more exploitive than the movie that had come out the previous week.

These days, it’s not like that. Movies are safe, their sharp edges smoothed over by fickle test audiences. Even trailers are approved by a commitee of under-employed flakes in focus groups. Jeez, the “Death Race” trailer clearly establishes that Statham’s character is innocent of killing his wife. Why is that character bit even brought up in the preview? Once I’d like to see a movie about a so-called anti-hero who’s in the hoosegow from a crime he actually committed. Imagine how much more badass would the trailer have been with this dialogue exchange:

Cellmate: “What’re you in for?”

Statham: “Killing my wife.”

Cellmate: “Didja do it?”

Statham: “Yeah… It just wasn’t working out.”

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a more interesting character. Statham playing some wrongly-accused con simply means that during the course of the film, he’ll uncover whoever the hell set him up in the first place and ultimately clear his name…after kicking the guilty man’s ass. But since he’s the hero of the movie and will invariably win the climactic race, who cares if he’s innocent? He gets to go free regardless. Again, it’s that “safe zone” that Hollywood wants all their dumb little movies — even a hunk of junk like this — to fall into. You can’t have the movie end with a convicted killer going free. Never mind that the movie’s called “Death Race.”

I loathe Paul W.S. Anderson and his ignominious output. How’d you like to have “Resident Evil” and “Alien vs. Predator” on your resume? He’s every inch the studio hack. He doesn’t make films. He makes product. “Death Race” is simply the next bright, shiny thing to come off his assembly line. All his work is the antithesis of Paul Thomas Anderson’s oeuvre. Let’s just hope that on the day P.T. Anderson does win his Oscar for Best Director or Best Screenplay or Best Anderson, they get his damn name right.

-Brad Lohan

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