Apr
19
Last Saturday I attended the Anaheim Comic-Con. Wizard World unceremoniously canceled their L.A. event last spring, so I was pleased to see that they’d booked an event this year that’s only a pleasant 40-minute drive from my apartment. Unfortunately, heavy traffic and a confusing Google Map doubled the actual amount of time I’d estimated it would take me to get there. But I did take a delightful tour of East Los Angeles while looking for an on-ramp to get back on I-5.
Once I reached the event, I had to shell out a king’s ransom for parking ($12), then the attendant told me to park way out in Hell’s Half Acre, not in the parking structure adjacent to Hall D, where the actual event was being held. I hadn’t even bought a single comic book yet and already felt like I should bail on this whole thing.
A one-day ticket was $35 if you purchased it at the event. I couldn’t get a ticket for $5 cheaper online because my home computer has HIV-AIDS. So, I had to bite eat five bucks and pay a service charge for no discernible reason.
Are we having fun yet?
Actually, the event in and of itself wasn’t a complete wash. It felt a little crowded, though. Wizard World Los Angeles was held at the more spacious L.A. Convention Center, which doubles as the U.S. Capitol building in “X-Men” and a museum in “X2;” I guess Bryan Singer loves that place. Hall D at the Anaheim Convention Center, on the other hand, seemed cramped. I was constantly bumping into people or tripping over their carry-on bags. Seriously, attendees now wheel around carry-ons like the one George Clooney has in “Up in the Air.” They make for excellent stumbling blocks!
George Carlin has a joke where he talks about how he’s never been with a 10, but one night, he was with five 2’s. Typically, all five of those 2’s are at the Los Angeles Comic Book and Science Fiction Convention that’s held at the Shrine every so often. At the Anaheim Comic-Con, however, there were surprisingly quite a few attractive women. We’re talking 6’s and 7’s, baby. Gals who’d get with me. Maybe. The ones who’d poured themselves into Batgirl, Black Cat and Scarlet Witch costumes were especially easy on the eyes.
Boy, am I sick of fat people dressed up as Jedi. Man alive, you’d think that there hadn’t been three prequel movies which tried valiantly to convince socially maladroit men and women that “Star Wars” isn’t worth obsessing over anymore. I think the Browncoats who lovingly embrace “Firefly” are less pathetic than folks who still go gaga over lightsabers, Yoda, and all things OT.
Speaking of pathetic, I took a stroll down the Walk of Shame, where you can purchase autographs from some prehistoric z-lister. Now, as an aspiring writer, I think it would be fun to do events at specialty book stores or comic book shops or even a convention, and sign whatever it is I had a hand in writing. I own a pile of books that are autographed to me by filmmakers and celebrities, including the late David Carradine, FTW. But shelling out $20-$25 to some has-been for their autograph on a publicity photo has always seemed kind of lame to me. And I know from lame. I own a few autographed publicity photos. I always felt awkward paying someone for their autograph. Now if I’m buying their book, and they’re signing it, that makes more sense. I can glean entertainment and insight from a book; the personal touch of their signature and a few kind words to me is just a value-add. An autographed photo, however, is pretty damn boring and useless.
That being said, who in the hell would spend $75 on an autograph from William Shatner? That’s what he was charging deep-pocketed Trekkers. Jesus wept. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love William Shatner. I was pretty starstruck just seeing him at the event. But I can’t imagine spending $75 on an autograph from anyone. That’s like three lapdances in the VIP room. Maybe lapdances are baked into the cost of the autograph, I dunno.
The Anaheim Comic-Con served as a reminder why I don’t bother going to the San Diego Comic-Con. The traffic, the admission fee, the fat people dressed as Jedi — it all takes the fun out of the experience.
-Brad Lohan
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2 Responses to “William Shatner Charges $75 for an Autograph: Tales From the Anaheim Comic-Con”
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Nothing like getting up in the morning and pouring yourself into your clothes!
This was a great description of Wizard World. Thanks for the laughs. See you… well… if you brave another convention, maybe I’ll see you there ; ).
- Black Cat
Pretty nice summation of the convention, but we always enjoy ourselves.
And thanks for the compliment!
~The Batwoman