spideyI knew some back issues were expensive, but this is ridiculous. According to AP — and virtually every other site on the Internet — Disney is buying Marvel Comics for $4 billion.

So what does this mean?! Like I know. Bob Iger, the Disney chieftain, prattled on about the comic book publisher’s “strong global brand and world-renowned library of characters” as well as his company’s “unparalleled global portfolio of entertainment properties.” All that corporate lingo makes my eyes go crossed. In sum, I think what he’s trying to say is that it’s a good fit.

Or…is it?!

Marvel still has a five-picture distribution deal with Paramount. After “Iron Man II,” “Thor,” “Captain America,” “The Avengers” and a TBA Marvel pic are released, only then will Disney begin distributing Marvel Studios properties; Marvel Studios is a production company that doesn’t have its own distribution arm. It gets even weirder, too. The film rights to Spider-Man are still owned by Sony, and Spidey is the most profitable Marvel movie franchise by a country mile. Sony is currently pre-producing “Spider-Man 4″ and is concurrently developing movies five and six in the series. Meanwhile, 20th Century Fox owns the rights to the X-Men characters, the Fantastic Four and Daredevil, all of whom have reboots in the works. And Hulk still lives at Universal.

The deal sort of seems like Disney’s getting engaged to someone who’s still married…to like four other people. That said, it’s only Marvel’s film properties that are scattered all over creation in terms of licensing deals. Disney will immediately be able to capitalize on all of Marvel’s comic book revenues. I’m sure the “Punisher: FrankenCastle” miniseries will bring back countless readers and sales will skyrocket. Yeah, no. The Marvel films are the publisher’s biggest money-makers. They’re what put the publisher on the map as a merchandising giant. Remember, Marvel filed for Chapter 11 in 1996. They came back big-time only after the first “X-Men” movie hit in 2000.

Maybe Disney could break ground on some Marvel superhero theme park attractions? Well, Universal Studios already has a thrill ride park in Orlando called Islands of Adventure, where there’s a Marvel Superhero Island. In the short term, it definitely seems like Marvel’s getting more out of this deal than Disney.

-Brad Lohan

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