This is terrific news!

I’m one of the very few people on Earth who was not won over by the “Lord of the Rings” movies. I thought they were hammy, overwrought and bloated affairs that took four hundred hours to accomplish what could’ve easily been condensed into a 120-minute film. Now, I really, really tried to get into the LOTR flicks. I saw all three in the theater during their respective opening weekends. I felt that being among the hairy-footed fanbase would help me get caught up in the Tolkien fever. But each time I found myself bored and uninvolved.

Then they released Extended Editions of each film. Oh my Christ, if there’s something that none of those movies needed to be, it’s longer.

All that being said, I was mildly interested in seeing what Guillermo Del Toro would do with “The Hobbit.” I like Del Toro more than Peter Jackson as a filmmaker. Jackson’s “King Kong” demonstrated to the LOTR fans that the emperor has no clothes and his real talent is helming gonzo exploitation movies like “Bad Taste” and “Dead/Alive.” Del Toro, however, can do fantasy like no other filmmaker today. If there had to be another damn Hobbit movie, MGM at least hired a guy who could show Jackson how it’s done.

Del Toro’s departure from “The Hobbit” means that he’s almost 100% more likely to direct a project that I’d much rather see. He’s got a spate of flicks on the backburner right now. Personally, I’d love to see him tackle “Frankenstein.”

-Brad Lohan

Which brings me to a Reuters article I read about Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr’s involvement with the upcoming “Avengers” movie. I thought this was already a done deal. The post-credits scene in “Iron Man” kind of implied that the titular hero would have a slot on the team. What’s more, I would be astonished if the studio hadn’t taken out a three-picture option on Downey. That’s pretty much SOP when signing an actor to a franchise-starter. Michael Keaton got quite a bump in pay when Warner Bros. had to renegotiate his contract for “Batman Returns.” The studio had unwisely signed him for only the first film. Since then, studios know better or so I thought.

The real news, something I still regret not blogging about a week or two ago because I had an awesome pun for a title (“War Macheadle”), is that Terrence Howard is walking away from future “Iron Man” installments and being replaced with Don Cheadle, a stronger actor in my opinion; he also comes equipped with a grown-up voice.

On a side note, it should be pointed out that Jim Rhodes, the character Cheadle will play, didn’t become War Machine until the ’90s; every article I read about Rhodes reports that he’s destined to become War Machine in the film series, but that is sloppy reporting. In the comics, when Tony Stark was too stinking drunk to suit up as ol’ Shellhead, Rhodes would wear the armor and for all intents and purposes be Iron Man. Stark even sat out “Secret Wars,” the quintessential game-changing Marvel Comics crossover event of the ’80s. The Iron Man in that storyarc was none other than Rhodey himself. The War Machine armor came way later in the “Iron Man” mythology. I imagine this will be compressed in the film series, but I would expect Rhodes to wear the Iron Man armor at one point or another in movie two and not become War Machine until the third entry.

Anyway, once I’ve finished moving into my new apartment, I should be able to start blogging every day again. I’d meant to post reviews of “Saw V” and “Let the Right One In” last weekend, but couldn’t find the time. Hang in there, readership! I’ll be back in full effect soon enough. I only hope that I have some news to report that’s actually — I dunno — newsworthy.

-Iron Brad