Dec
5
How to Save Indiana Jones
Filed Under Blockbusters, Fanwank, Movies | Leave a Comment
I’m pretty much the only one who wrung some entertainment value out of the latest Indiana Jones movie. No, it’s not the best in the series. No, it’s not even the best sequel. But there’s more to like about it than not in my estimation. George Lucas wanted to make a ’50s-era b-flick, and he did just that. I guess I have a soft spot for saucer men and Commie scum and Henry Jones, Jr.
That being said, if they’re going to make another one, as Lucas hinted at in a Dark Horizons article, they should go in a completely different direction. And I’m not talking about “Mutt Williams and the Something-or-Other of Whatsis.” No, they should actually do what everyone else seems to be doing these days.
They should make a prequel.
Technically, “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” is a prequel to “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” but the through-line for the Indy movies is more inconsistent than the one in the “Star Wars” saga. What the hell happens to Short Round between “Temple of Doom” and “Raiders” anyway? As it happens, the correct chronology when applied to the first and second films is largely irrelevant. I’m suggesting they make a prequel that’s set before “Temple of Doom,” before “Raiders.” And since Harrison Ford is probably not going to pass for a young man, they should recast the lead role.
Yep, they should get a younger actor to play Indiana Jones. I think Josh Brolin would be a fine choice.
Brolin’s been blowing up lately in prestige pictures like “No Country for Old Men” and “Milk.” The man’s due for a turn in a blockbuster. I think playing everyone’s favorite archaeologist would be a bold move that would at first infuriate fans before ultimately winning them over. Think of how the casting of Daniel Craig as James Bond nearly brought us to the brink of nuclear war. Now the man’s being trumpeted as the best Bond yet. It’s doubtful that Brolin would ever overshadow Ford, but we’d at least get a more active Indy this time around.
Like all prequels, “Indy 5″ would have to cast its protag as an unlikely hero. I never watched “The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles,” so I can’t speak to how they portrayed the character as a young man. But, coming on the heels of films “Casino Royale” and “Batman Begins,” we should see Indiana Jones before he became Indiana Jones. In “Casino Royale,” Bond nearly quit MI-6, but his girlfriend dumped him by committing suicide, giving him little reason to stop killing foreigners for Queen and Country. And in “Batman Begins,” Bruce Wayne almost blew away his parents’ murderer, Joe Chill, on the courthouse steps, which would’ve landed him in prison, pre-empting his superhero career altogether.
“Indy 5″ should see the hero as a career student, a skirt-chaser with little interest in graduating from Marshall College, the same university where his older self would wind up as a professor. The film should be set in the late-’20s, maybe around the time Indy had his “falling out” with Abner Ravenwood, Marion’s father and Indy’s mentor. That being said, Eliza Dushku would make a great young Marion. And keeping with the tradition of casting Bond actors in paternal roles, why not have Pierce Brosnan play Abner? Dream casting is fun…and pointless!
The most important component in these films, at least according to George Lucas, is the MacGuffin. I would respectfully disagree. In my own writing, I’ve found MacGuffins to be pain-in-the-ass stumbling blocks. Fortunately, in “Raiders” Marion says Abner traveled the world collecting “bits of junk” and Marcus Brody tells Indy that the Ark is “unlike anything you’ve gone after before.” That said, who gives a dump what the MacGuffin is in this movie? It should be important enough to motivate the characters to get on a plane, but not so ridiculous that it demands a weird-ass SFX sequence at the climax; I will be the first to admit I have no idea what’s going on in the final reel of “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”
Whatever Indy goes after, however, should also be something the baddies are chasing as well. But who are the baddies in this installment? It’s a little early for the rise of Nazism in Germany. Hmm, who else is fun to kill with extreme prejudice? How about gangsters? It is the Roaring Twenties, after all. Let’s see young Indy butting heads with the Mafia, who are trying to take possession of our as-yet-undetermined MacGuffin. I think a significant dollar value should be attached to the item to make things interesting.
So what’s the story? Right now we just have a setup. Part of the problem with a prequel is that it’s basically an overextended prologue. We need a beginning, a middle and an end. Let’s try this: In the late-1920s, Indiana Jones, an unambitious student, joins rough-and-tumble Abner Ravenwood on a globe-hopping adventure in search a priceless what-have-you with the Mob on their tail. Jones meets and falls for Ravenwood’s daughter, Marion. They recover the artifact, but not before losing it again, this time to the baddies. Ravenwood gives up the chase, not wanting to get killed over some museum piece. Jones, however, is relentless in trying to get the object back. He’s even willing to throw away his budding romance with Marion, and in doing so, forever harming his friendship with Abner. Jones tracks down the villains, steals from them the item and barely escapes with his life. Yet, he ultimately finds himself alone, but with a renewed sense of adventure and only a few credits short of a PhD in Archaeology.
Granted, it’s still a bit vague on the details. I’ve laid out enough plot points, though, to create the spine of the story. I generally don’t like movies where it’s obvious they thought up all the setpieces first and then built a story around them. You can pretty much do anything within the framework I’ve created in terms of creating action sequences. The essential part — Indy’s evolution from townie to globe-hopping adventurer — is already in place.
Now all I need to do is get this in front of George Lucas. Then I might have a character arc of my own.
-Brad Lohan