My Pitch for “Batman 3″

Filed Under Blockbusters, Comics, Movies

Chris Nolan’s on a well-deserved vacation — or as the English call it, a “holiday” — after doing a worldwide press tour for “The Dark Knight.” Meanwhile, the only thing Bat-fans seem to enjoy discussing more than this film is the next one. They’ve simply run out of nits to pick, from whether or not Two-Face buys it to Batman’s growly-voice. They’ve moved on. They’re already mocking up horrendous fan art (Kristen Bell as Harley Quinn), discussing horrendous casting rumors (Cher as Catwoman), and suggesting horrendous titles (”Gotham City,” “The Caped Crusader,” etc.).

Now it’s my turn. I’d like to think my concept’s a little less motarded than the Riddler-as-a-serial-killer nonsense I keep seeing on the message boards. At the end of the day, Warner Bros. is going to give Nolan a pile of cash to make “Batman 3.” Still, part of the fun of being a fanboy is to impress your friends with where you’d take the material if given the chance.

Here’s my pitch for “Batman 3,” or as I call it, “War on Batman.”

Logline: Wanted by the police and despised by the public, an embattled Dark Knight takes on corrupt disaster capitalist the Penguin and his enforcer, the Batman.

Yes, my pitch has two Batmen — Bruce Wayne and another gentleman, a Batman on steroids who’s armed to the teeth. In the ’90s, Batman was put in a wheelchair by the ‘roided up baddie, Bane. He ultimately recovered, but he appointed a gentleman by the name of Jean-Paul Valley to do his Batmanning in the interim. I like the idea of Batman having to do battle against himself, which is how the “Knighfall” storyarc climaxed. Merging Bane and Valley’s characters, not to mention their brutal methods, would create a great composite villain for Batman to match fists with.

As far as matching wits, that honor goes to the Penguin, aka Oswald Cobblepot. In the wake of the Joker’s attacks on Gotham, it’s likely that some enterprising fellow would swoop in and try to make a buck off rebuilding the damaged infrastructure. The film might even kick off with Wayne Tower being leveled by none other than Penguin’s nogoodnik Batman. My Penguin wouldn’t be a disgusting sewer-dwelling freakshow like in “Batman Returns.” Rather, he would more closely resemble his comic book counterpart — short, heavyset and well-dressed. He’d be the anti-Bruce Wayne.

Where Harvey Dent was seen as Gotham’s “white knight,” Cobblepot is sort of a Cheney-esque figure. He’s a bastard, but he’s our bastard. Never mind that while he’s up-armoring the GCPD, he’s also filling the power vacuum left by crime boss Moroni’s death. The Joker was about creating a world without rules, one of chaos and anarchy. Thing is, there isn’t any way to turn a profit in that sort of a world. The Penguin’s out to make a buck by playing both sides against each other. This film would escalate the post-9/11 hysteria that “The Dark Knight” addressed, where we now find ourselves in an unwinnable war (the War on Crime), are unable to capture a cave-dwelling boogeyman (Batman) and disaster capitalists (like The Penguin) make a literal and figurative killing off the deal.

What about a love interest? Well, Batman’s not much of a skirt-chaser in the comics, but I guess he does deserve a transitional girlfriend after the events of TDK. I’ve always been a fan of the character Silver St. Cloud, not that I really know anything about her. I just like her name. Rachel Dawes was an assistant D.A. Silver should have a murkier role. Maybe she could be the Penguin’s trophy girlfriend. Batman’s never stolen a villain’s girl before. I think an angel-with-a-wing-down would be right at home in this universe.

The third Batman film needs to build upon movie two, not just spin its wheels. “The Dark Knight” forced Batman/Bruce Wayne to reexamine his role as a crime-fighter and allow himself to be seen as the villain. This movie should allow him the opportunity to redeem himself, to become the hero once again. But first he must beat back his demons.

-Brad Lohan

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