Don’t Ask Val Kilmer About Bat-Nipples

I stumbled upon this MTV interview with Val Kilmer about “The Dark Knight.” It’s fairly short, but extremely uncomfortable to watch. At first, Kilmer seems a little astonished by the fact that there’s another bat-film. Or maybe he’s confused that the interviewer’s asking him about a film he’s not in.

Kilmer’s a bit of a tough cookie to begin with; some of the stories about his behavior on the set of “Island of Dr. Moreau” are legendary among divas. That he’s doubled in size since “Batman Forever” only makes him twice as intimidating, especially when stacked against the 98-pound nerdling asking stupid questions.

When Kilmer launches into a rant about Oliver Stone single-handedly inventing indepedent cinema, the interview is clearly not going in the direction that was originally intended. I suppose the dweeby interviewer was trying to steer the conversation into a delightful little rant about how super-lame director Joel Schumacher’s take on Batman was. Apparently, someone didn’t get the memo that the Internet was invented solely to rail on Schumacher and his two bat-films. We’ve covered this ground before, MTV.

But Kilmer’s clearly had enough of being these types of questions by nimrods trying to be cute. I can’t say I think he’s out of line. He can be a solid actor when he wants to be. Had Sam Raimi occupied the director’s chair on “Batman Forever” — he was rumored to have been up for it — Kilmer could have quite possibly been in a much better, nipple-free installment. But alas, his is second only to “Batman and Robin” when it comes to the least-loved chapters in the franchise.

Kilmer ultimately compares himself to the Beatles during the interview, and suddenly turns into Bob Dylan at the end. This is just one of those great little clips you almost never see in the world of sterile, softball interviews. If only Kilmer had given the interviewer a purple nurple, the interview would’ve been the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

-Brad Lohan

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