Aug
21
Jason Would Like to Axe You a Question
Filed Under Cult Films, Movies
Serial killers and momma’s boys — two great tastes that taste great together. Jason Voorhees is perhaps my favorite mother-lovin’ slasher. Had she not been decapitated in the final reel of “Friday the 13th,” I think Mrs. Voorhees would be proud of her boy. But Jason’s carried on her tradition of showing kids the dangers of drug abuse, premarital sex and plunging an axe into one’s skull. In less than six months, Mrs. Voorhees’ only child — forgetting all that needless retconning of the Voorhees family tree in “Jason Goes to Hell” — will stalk and slash on the big screen again.
I’m actually starting to get excited about this one.
I lamented a couple months back that Michael Bay’s soulless remake machine, Platinum Dunes, was giving Jason the “Batman Begins”/”Casino Royale” treatment. That they felt the mythology of the “Friday the 13th” saga needed to be rebooted sort of misses the point, considering how each film is basically a remake in and of itself. Teens arrive in woods; Jason destroys them. The end.
Still, the articles I’ve been reading about this film, particularly the casting of Nana Visitor as Mama Voorhees (long before “Star Trek: DS9,” she was on “MacGyver” twice, as two different characters!), has given me a modicum of faith that this film might be a worthy entry in the series. Yes, director Marcus Nispel is going to stylize the hell out of it. That’s all these music video vets know how to do. What they don’t realize is the absence of showy cinematography in the earlier films was how they achieved their grittiness. Nowadays, hacks just think bleach bypass is all you need for instant atmosphere ’cause Spielberg does it sometimes.
CHUD.com, the Internet’s preeminent apologist for the upcoming “Friday the 13th” film, has a new image up of Jason chopping wood, or humans, or perhaps both. I hope the radioactive cloud behind him doesn’t turn Jason into The Amazing Colossal Slasher. And with that being said, I’ve given myself a fabulous idea for another screenplay. Maybe someday it’ll be made into a film…then further down the road, remade by Michael Bay!
-Brad Lohan
Comments
One Response to “Jason Would Like to Axe You a Question”
Leave a Reply
[…] career. That being said, seven more “Friday the 13th” movies have since been made with an eighth — produced by Meat Loaf video wunderkind Michael Bay — set for release early next […]